President’s update: The courage to disagree well

Like many in our community, I have been deeply affected by the shocking attack on Australian independent MP Helen Haines. My thoughts are with Helen, her family and community at this extraordinarily difficult time.

In the days that followed, I was particularly struck by the reflections of the Patron of our College, our Governor-General Her Excellency the Honourable Ms Sam Mostyn AC as she urged Australians to relearn how to disagree well: 'We don’t have to all agree, but we can wrestle the issue, not the person'. She called on us to 'learn or relearn to exercise our muscle of decency'. Her call for greater kindness, decency and respect in an increasingly divided society has stayed with me as I consider what they mean for us as psychiatrists and members of a professional community.

Amid this tragedy, there was also a powerful expression of humanity from Ricky Jefferies, who intervened to restrain the alleged attacker and remove a knife from his pocket. He then reassured him: 'Everything is alright mate, you’ll be alright'. Jefferies later explained: 'It was the right thing to do and to show him kindness and grace at a time that could have escalated from there.' In that extraordinary moment, he demonstrated that even when confronting violence, we need not lose our basic human decency.

We live in a world where anger can travel faster than understanding. Social media and digital platforms have transformed how we connect and share ideas, giving voice to many who might otherwise go unheard. Yet they can also reward outrage, certainty and division over nuance and reflection. Hostility becomes normalised, spilling into our workplaces, communities and everyday interactions.

There seems to be a collective undercurrent of simmering anger. Having lived and worked across several decades, I cannot recall a time when hostility has felt so overt. Perhaps this reflects frustration, disillusionment or powerlessness. Understanding its origins does not excuse hostility, but invites us to look beyond it.

In a recent conversation, a colleague reflected on a troubling paradox. In a country where many of us enjoy relative physical safety and freedom from the immediate threats of war or conflict, are we nevertheless becoming increasingly willing to inflict psychological harm on one another? What is concerning is an increasingly accusatory outlook: a readiness to presume the worst of others, attribute malicious intent and deny someone the grace of an alternative interpretation, or even consideration of facts that might challenge our assumptions.

I was recently reading Richard Flanagan’s reflections on heresy, in which he draws on Voltaire’s Candide and the absurd belief that publicly punishing supposed heretics could somehow prevent another earthquake. The passage stayed with me. It speaks to an enduring human tendency to respond to uncertainty and fear by finding someone to blame, as though collective condemnation might restore order. Centuries later, our methods may have changed, but perhaps some of those impulses remain. Vituperative language, public humiliation and the certainty of being right may offer a fleeting sense of righteousness while doing little to address the underlying problems.

Group dynamics can amplify this. Conversations gather momentum, with increasingly confident judgements made. As others join in, assumptions become accepted truths, and the person at the centre risks becoming an object of collective scrutiny rather than a fellow human being. We should not underestimate the impacts when contempt and dehumanisation become increasingly acceptable.

As psychiatrists, we understand the effects of shame, exclusion, stigma and humiliation, and how group dynamics and uncertainty shape our judgements. Yet understanding these processes does not make us immune to them. 

In my own leadership experience, criticism has sometimes extended beyond professional decisions to my gender, ethnicity and identity. Leadership rightly invites scrutiny, but disagreement should never undermine someone's dignity or sense of belonging. Accountability and compassion are not opposing values. We can be rigorous without being unkind, critical without being contemptuous, and courageous without being cruel.

An image shared with me recently by a dear friend carried these words:

The demon is always within.

The goddess is always within.

The battle too, is always within.

And so is the triumph of one, over the other.

Which one, over which one?

That choice is also, somehow always within.

We celebrated the Indian festival Durga Ashtami last week. In my room hangs a portrait of Goddess Durga by Jamini Roy. A familiar and cherished presence, it reminds me of the courage and enduring duty to uphold what is right even in the face of adversity. 

Dr Astha Tomar
President